Reflecting on/Responding to Peer Evaluations

The purpose of my digital story was to show a bit of my past and portray hope for my future. It’s really difficult to specifically explain all that did not go well during my high school career, especially because dreading it in a 3 page script/5 minute digital story would not take me anywhere or help me understand anything. This was the reason I only had some bits and pieces of my high school experience in it.

I received some comments about not having many personal pictures—some wanted to see pictures of family more? In all honesty I didn’t want to focus too much on my family and I don’t have that many full family photos.

To the 2^nd classmate who thought my name was “Rosanna” (:/) —to answer  your concern about the lily pad: I believe that was when I was talking about Stony Brook University, and that was a picture of a lily pad inside that place with water in the Wang Center.

In response to audio complaints—it was my complaint as well. I am working to edit and fix it before it is finally due next week. I will also try to improvise/take some feedback from the peer evals and then try to post my digital story up here.

Thank you everyone for support and great advice!

-FARZANA Karim

Disjointed Thoughts on Yaseen’s Talk

Everyone has already spoken about how passionate and enthusiastic Yaseen was during his talk. I may or may not have hidden behind my laptop in order to shield myself from the onslaught of his words.

He’s definitely a good orator and he had some good points regarding the importance of the personal statement, the difficulty of cutting down your life experiences to whatever the word limit is, the necessity of giving ample time to the statement so you don’t just dash it off, and so on, but I do feel that he didn’t have as many words on the actual craft of the personal statement as I was expecting. He clearly did something right in his own personal statement(s)–he’s doing precisely what he wants with his life, something I can admire. Perhaps he could have shared some specifics with us?

One antagonistic thought: “Good to see all these fresh faces, untouched by the scars of the world.” HA! I don’t appreciate being condescended to. What does he know about us and our scars?

One amusing/positive thought: On exiting the class, one of us said Yaseen’s speech was like being at a poetry slam event. I couldn’t agree more. He’s got his cadence down like a pro.

Personal Essay Talk

First thing that I would like to say about Yaseem’s talk, is how impressed I am with his speaking skills. Does not seem very relevant to the  topic of writing a personal essay, but I can imagine that his enthusiasm from his was present in his personal essays. His personal voice is probably screaming though his essay, “I am Yaseem and this is me!” I admire that because of my struggles in finding my true voice in my personal essay. It is hard to decide how and what you want to say to sound appealing to admissions. What I found very useful was his idea of a brain dump of just writing what you feel like writing at the moment before moving on the essay you are trying to write. That is kind of like what we did when we wrote the essay that we never send. Just getting all of our thoughts out so they do not get in the way of what we want to write. I also found his suggestion about reading or writing every day helpful as well. That I seriously hope to implement since this past semester I have stopped reading as much as I used to and this provides more incentive.

Reflecting on a motivational lecture.

“We’re a product of our circumstances”, said Yaseen Eldik today in his lecture.

We all know that our experiences shape who we are but I wish I knew at which exact point I felt convinced that I need to do something, that I wanted to help those in need, that I needed to make a difference, that I needed to change and make change. If I knew the specific circumstance, I would know what to put on paper, I would know what to say to convince them that I deserve a chance in their program…that I could actually do it.

“You’re doing this for you.” That seems so selfish, true, but not totally true. I actually want to do this so I can give back to everything and everyone that has given to me. Not given to me as in giving presents, but at in teaching me something, and believing in me.

The Roadmap sounds like a good idea. It all seemed very convincing at that moment. I didn’t exactly throw it all away, go smoke a blunt or anything. Hah. I’m not spoiled like that, but I do wish the road map was do-able and that motivation sunk deeper into my skin. I wish all the blurry roads would disappear and the paths would curve my way. I need to stop wishing and start working.

I have many days to work on my statement, but for now I will be taking all his advice: Reading. I don’t watch TV but maybe I’ll catch up on a movie here and there. Making my education and myself my first and foremost priority. Writing a couple of sentences at night. One day I’ll want all the time I’ve wasted back—just like Yaseen said, and I won’t be able to get that time back. So I’m going to try to not waste my time.

We’re all fighting unique battles but at the end, we’re all in the same line struggling with our personal statements. Where would be without inspiration? Thanks Yaseen! 

Being accepted into my dream school > watching Law and Order … Food for thought

I thought Yaseen’s talk today was enlightening. He seemed truly passionate and he spoke in an intense manner, and it captured my attention for the entire class period. Walking out of the room, I was making a mental list of all of the things I need to be doing/need to change. A lot of what he said just seemed…right. Why do I watch so much TV? I usually do it to unwind after a long, stressful day. But he’s right—reading a book would likely have the same affect, along with a slew of intellectual benefits. Most of the things I read are news articles or books for class—the thought of reading something for pleasure is sort of foreign in my brain at this stage in my life, and I know that’s not a good thing.

His point about a lot of the things we fill our time with—friends, significant others, etc.—being temporary when we should be focusing on how to move ourselves ahead toward our goals made me think hard about how I spend my time. Even though it’s my senior year, I go out way less compared to the last few years. Sometimes I wonder if I’m being too serious while all my friends are going out and having fun—but today made me feel better. Going out, clubbing, doing nothing all weekend with friends—it’s all bullshit that does nothing to get us closer to our dreams. I feel like I’ve straightened out my priorities, but after today I can see I need to trim even more fat out of my life and replace it with activities that are more beneficial to future me.

I thought when he spoke about how it’s not connections that take you places but instead the hard work you put in was comforting. He’s living proof of the things he’s preaching—he worked hard and has done so many amazing things (how cool is it that he spent time at the White House?). It’s really about how bad you want the thing you’re going after. What are you willing to give up to get there?

I think taking WRT303 this semester gave me necessary structure. I know some in the class aren’t applying for at least a year, but my applications are due in January. I can’t say with certainty that I would have started my personal statement if it were not for this class—it’s just a daunting task that I probably would have procrastinated a bit longer.

He really drilled the importance of a dynamic personal statement into my head. I wish I could interview for some of the schools I’m applying to, because I would feel better knowing I had a chance to actually meet someone from the program and present myself face-to-face. This whole beautifully and articulately sum up your experiences/relationships/life and why you want to be accepted in a few pages thing is honestly so scary. I’m going to try and look over my personal statement every other day until it’s due. Like Yaseen said, even if you get rejected, it will still feel better to know you gave everything you could.

Inspired.

Yaseen’s speech in class today was very inspirational. The same frustration and fear that I still feel, in regards to my personal statement , he had felt before.  It was great to finally hear what I’ve been feeling and recently thinking about from someone else. He spoke not just about the essay but just life–friends, life style, experiences, etc–which do effect our everyday judgment and ultimately, our goals in life. And got me to think , what is a person but the sums of their parts cause by the product of our circumstances?  We are the stories we live and the tales we tell ourselves.

I’ve heard bits and pieces of his speech from some of my friends and professors before, but hearing it from Yaseen was different. He bought together all those pieces (ones I’ve been thinking about for over 2 years now!) and talked about it in only 50 minutes.  It’s great to hear it from someone I don’t know and someone who has recently been in my shoes, but was successful at writing their personal statement. Also, the point he made about the importance of the personal statement and writing and reading made total sense and I never thought about it this way. His speech was a reality check that I needed and for the first time in a really really long time since I came to Stony Brook, I walked out very satisfied, inspired and reenergized for not only the personal statement but also my goals and my future. I only wish was that I could hear it again or even better if I had heard this speech in my freshmen year, but hopefully it won’t be too late to start. But, better now then never!

“Knowledge Is Power”

Yaseen’s talk today really got me thinking hard about what and why is it that I’m going into dental school. Where is that moment that I need to find that sparked an interest in me in wanting to go there? How do I show the admissions committee that I am worthy of admitting? How do I get them to understand the real me? After hearing all of this, I believe it is necessary to search for that “moment”. And if I can’t find that moment, then as much as I hate to admit it, maybe dental school isn’t for me after all.

His talk wasn’t only on personal statements, but also the way of living life. “Knowledge is power.” Those three words, kept replaying over and over again in my head, as he kept repeating it over and over again. He’s right. Knowledge IS power. When I heard that we should pick up a book everyday and read it, I thought, “Psh, I don’t have the time to do that. I barely have enough time to study.” But as he got deeper into explaining his emphasis on the quote, I thought that it was a worth a try. So often we indulge ourselves in temporary pleasures in life and waste our time sleeping in, facebooking, watching youtube videos that in the end, we don’t spend enough time on ourselves. And why not spend it on obtaining knowledge? After all, the knowledge you eventually obtain from reading is going to be yours forever. “Money, fame, fortune; those can all be taken away from you. But knowledge is the only thing that can’t be taken away from you.” And that is more powerful than any amount of money or fame that you will have. It’s for your own good. In the end, you’re doing this for yourself.

This afternoon, I walked out the door feeling like I was already a different person just from hearing Yaseen’s talk. It’s time to make a  roadmap.

About the Personal Statement…

I’m not sure how to start this – it’s partially due to the fact that I’m still not sure what happened in class today.  It feels like the time my now ex-boyfriend asked me to get a cup of coffee…while we were still dating.  Things had not been great between us and I knew things were nearing the end.  Still – I gave it my best effort and tried my best to save our dying relationship.  I knew things were over when I got this text message:  “Hey can u meet @ sbux today at 4?  Need 2 talk.”

First of all, “needing to talk” is never ideal…especially when you are in relationship limbo.  And secondly, I had seen this coming.  After all, we had been dating almost two years and suddenly it’s “Can you meet at this time?” not “Hey babe – wanted to know if you could spare some time for me and a caramel macchiato – love you!”.

I went in hoping for the best – after all, we’d been through a lot together and I knew that he knew he owed me more than a coffee shop breakup.

He was eloquent, energetic, empathetic…all those good things.  He talked about how breaking up was the right thing to do and how we would both be better off.  Yet, he spoke about how much he loved me and cared for me – how there would always be a special place in his heart for me and how the memories of the time we spent together would be something he took to his grave.  By the end of it, all I could say was, “Wait…so we’re breaking up, right?”

That’s how I felt when Yasseen was speaking.  I had no idea what to feel, think or how to act once he had finished.  And while I respect and admire him as a person, and I value the advice he gave, I wish he could have turned it down a little.  I love how passionate he is about writing and expressing yourself through writing, but not everyone in our class is a Writing major.  Not only that, not everyone in our class loves to write.  For some people in our class, the personal statement presents a real challenge, anxiety and other personal issues.

I feel like some parts of the talk were extremely helpful (time management, taking the assignment seriously, various topics) but I feel like he didn’t really talk about the personal essay.  I would have enjoyed the talk more if he had gone into specifics regarding technique, craft, choosing your topic, where to start as opposed to when to start and how to get past writer’s block.  I wish he would have given us some insight as to what makes a personal essay stand out, as opposed to telling us it needs to stand out – I already know the essay needs to stand out but I need help getting there.

He seemed to speak more about how important the personal essay is rather than the essay itself.  I also felt extremely judged at certain points.  Especially when he commented about how needing a drink after his talk makes you spoiled.  Poor choice of words all around.  Being overwhelmed doesn’t make you weak and it doesn’t make you spoiled.  If anything, being overwhelmed is a good thing because it means you’re scared and to me, being scared means you care.  You care about failing and succeeding and that is what will make your essay great.

I also did not appreciate being told how the world works.  He is not the only person with experiences and I strongly disagree with his thoughts on the value of networking.  Because who you know does matter and if you think otherwise then you’re a fool.

But that’s neither here nor there.  So, suffice to say I’m overwhelmed, I’m scared, I’m going to work on things and my own pace and I will hope that with a little bit of skill, fate and the help of the universe, I will come up with a kick ass personal statement.  However, I am also going to return to being a spoiled brat because A) I love me a good margarita after a hard day and B) The Walking Dead is an hour long…and I’m not ashamed to let my brain die a little for it.

Life

Listening to Yaseen today was really a walk down memory lane. Everything he said, were word for word the things my dad has been telling me my whole life.

“Knowledge is power. No one can take that from you.”

“You must read.”

“Spend your time wisely – that’s what makes success.”

“This is not for me or mom, this is for your benefit – so you can have a better life than we have.”

“All you have is yourself.”

But hearing it from someone who isn’t my parent makes it feel so much different. I feel less scared about where my life is going and disappointing my family, friends and most importantly myself. Instead, I  feel inspired.

I’ve been trying to create this type of lifestyle for myself but it really is just so hard. It takes so much self-discipline and fighting power. I think I’ll try harder now though. I think I want to be where Yaseen is – wise and satisfied that he has worked his hardest.

Dear Me.

I also did not know that this was supposed to be posted. This is extremely late, but it’s here now!

Dear Future Erica,

Hi. I’m not sure what and where you’re going to be in the next 10 years from now, but I hope that you’re happy right now. I hope that the career you’ve chosen is the one you’re going to stick with, be happy and comfortable in. I just want you to know, your family will always support you no matter what, so go on ahead and do the things YOU want to do. You only live once (haha, that expression…I hate it so much because it’s so cliche, but probably in the future, you’ll have another phrase trending.)

Will you be a dentist like you originally wanted in college? Did you figure out your life decisions by now? I hope that you would have, since you’re already 31. Will you still be feeling less confident or more confident? Will you end up in a business?

Let’s say you’re in dental school. Are you comfortable? Are you sure this is the path you’ve wanted to take? Most importantly, do you feel happy going to work everyday, doing the things that you do? Do you have the motivation, the ambition?

Let’s say you’re not. Where are you now? Are you fully content that you didn’t go? Do you have any regrets?

Sincerely,

Doubtful, Indecisive, Lost Erica