Some final words…

Writing 303– The Personal Essay was not what I quite expected when I enrolled. I was hoping to learn about other people–those who wrote and discovered themselves. Little did I know that I would write and learn more about my peers and myself rather than famous, successful, personal essayists.

I never actually considered students and writers. However, on my very first day (since I missed the first), while I reflected upon the poem “Why I write”, I learned that we were all writers. I was a writer. I didn’t really need anyone else to label that for me.

I’m grateful that I cook this class, which taught me more about life and expression than any of my classes ever have.
This class not only allowed me to bond with some very unique people in different stages in life, but also taught me to change some my perspectives and realize that everyone has a different story.

I was moved by many people in this class in unexplainable ways…thank you everyone! Thanks Professor Lucenko for instructing and giving us this opportunity to think about ourselves and our lives: who we are and where we want to be. 🙂

Good luck everyone! Write.write.write.

~FARZANA KARIM

Reflecting on/Responding to Peer Evaluations

The purpose of my digital story was to show a bit of my past and portray hope for my future. It’s really difficult to specifically explain all that did not go well during my high school career, especially because dreading it in a 3 page script/5 minute digital story would not take me anywhere or help me understand anything. This was the reason I only had some bits and pieces of my high school experience in it.

I received some comments about not having many personal pictures—some wanted to see pictures of family more? In all honesty I didn’t want to focus too much on my family and I don’t have that many full family photos.

To the 2^nd classmate who thought my name was “Rosanna” (:/) —to answer  your concern about the lily pad: I believe that was when I was talking about Stony Brook University, and that was a picture of a lily pad inside that place with water in the Wang Center.

In response to audio complaints—it was my complaint as well. I am working to edit and fix it before it is finally due next week. I will also try to improvise/take some feedback from the peer evals and then try to post my digital story up here.

Thank you everyone for support and great advice!

-FARZANA Karim

Reflecting on a motivational lecture.

“We’re a product of our circumstances”, said Yaseen Eldik today in his lecture.

We all know that our experiences shape who we are but I wish I knew at which exact point I felt convinced that I need to do something, that I wanted to help those in need, that I needed to make a difference, that I needed to change and make change. If I knew the specific circumstance, I would know what to put on paper, I would know what to say to convince them that I deserve a chance in their program…that I could actually do it.

“You’re doing this for you.” That seems so selfish, true, but not totally true. I actually want to do this so I can give back to everything and everyone that has given to me. Not given to me as in giving presents, but at in teaching me something, and believing in me.

The Roadmap sounds like a good idea. It all seemed very convincing at that moment. I didn’t exactly throw it all away, go smoke a blunt or anything. Hah. I’m not spoiled like that, but I do wish the road map was do-able and that motivation sunk deeper into my skin. I wish all the blurry roads would disappear and the paths would curve my way. I need to stop wishing and start working.

I have many days to work on my statement, but for now I will be taking all his advice: Reading. I don’t watch TV but maybe I’ll catch up on a movie here and there. Making my education and myself my first and foremost priority. Writing a couple of sentences at night. One day I’ll want all the time I’ve wasted back—just like Yaseen said, and I won’t be able to get that time back. So I’m going to try to not waste my time.

We’re all fighting unique battles but at the end, we’re all in the same line struggling with our personal statements. Where would be without inspiration? Thanks Yaseen! 

Words of Motivation for future me.

Dear Future Farzana,

I know you have always been accustomed to getting what you want but reality is different. I want you to remember that you will not always get what you want because that is how it once was. In reality people are cruel, nasty, and greedy. Few are self-less and helpful. There will be people in your way like that corrupt politician, or that greedy project manager, who won’t let you do good for others, who will always look for profit. You can’t forget and you can’t give up, because you came here with a mission—the mission to fight on for what you believe in.

Stay true to yourself and remember those you pushed you so far. You were once told you will not make it, but you have never quit. You have come too far to ever quit. Remember that if you give up, you will not only let yourself down, but you will also let down those who follow you and have faith in you to go farther and beyond where you are standing right at this moment.

Sincerely,

19-year-old Farzana

Trying…

Umm…so this is what I produced in class yesterday. I don’t know what to do with it. It was my attempt to “give single most important quality that I would want to convey to my reader”. I’m aware that I haven’t done that. But I hope to go somewhere with this…

______________________________________________________________________________________

Placing a donkey in the Prime Minister’s chair would make the nation better.

The corrupt, resilient, failing, stupid government of Bangladesh promises in creating a “Digital Bangladesh”. What does that even mean? I don’t know. What I do know is that it is not related to lifting poverty, reforming health care, education, population, or even the people. It is most probably related to increasing the technology so it can gain some respect from developed nations. What will respect do when you fail to feed your starving people? In which ways can your “digital Bangladesh” cure malaria in households, decrease drug use in teens, promote the practice of safe sex, endorse population control?

There is everything in Bangladesh. What doesn’t exist is communication. There is no communication between parents and children, between teacher to student, or between the government and the population.

“Sex.” It is a word unheard of in my community, in my culture, in my motherland. It is as if babies are given to hospitals by god and parents simply go pick them up. AIDS, HIV, herpes and other sexually transmitted diseases are like catching the common cold. Unaware of what it is and too prideful to talk about it. One dies from AIDS and it is said that he had jaundice. There’s a difference, but who admits it? Bangladesh is a country where the health care system thrives—with malnutrition, widespread bacterial contamination in water, tuberculosis, and other common diseases that are left unattended—they are left to thrive and slowly kill the lower class of the population, those who cannot afford health care.

Communication is needed in order to educate a nation and make it prosper. It would bridge the gap between generations and classes.

** I know I’m supposed to be more specific and here, I should write about how I have good communication skills, why they are important, what experiences have contributed to it, etc etc….except….

I don’t know the answers to any of that…

 

 

Why does Grad school seem so far away?

I’m ahead in the game?

On Friday I realized that I’m the youngest in the class. I have yet to find my identity. Seems like just that day that I was writing a personal statement for college. Now I’m thinking about Grad school not even two years into my college career.

I guess it’s never too early…

I will most probably pursue a Masters in Public Health. Where? I don’t know.

These are some prompts I found:

1)        Statement of Purpose (1500 words) – Your Statement of Purpose should explain what has brought you to pursue graduate training in Public Health. It should also explain your eventual career goals and why you need a degree in your specific program. It may also explain why you are pursuing this degree now, and why at Berkeley. Please be sure to check your program’s page, as some programs have specific prompts they like you to follow. If a prompt is not listed, please follow these guidelines.

Personal History Statement (4000 characters) – Your Personal History Statement gives you an opportunity to add some individuality and depth to the basic information contained in your Statement of Purpose. You may write about who you are as a person, about your family, your ethnicity, and the experiences that make you unique. This essay will play a large role in consideration for fellowships

2)      Part I: What matters most to you and why? (750 words)

– The best examples of Essay 1 reflect the process of self-examination that you have undertaken to write them.

– They give us a vivid and genuine image of who you are—and they also convey how you became the person you are.

– They do not focus on what you’ve done or accomplished. Instead, they share with us the values, experiences, and lessons that have shaped your perspectives.

– They are written from the heart and addresses not only a person, situation, or event, but also how that person, situation, or event has influenced your life.

Part II: (450 words) What do you want to do—REALLY—and why at this particular institute?

Use this essay to explain your view of your future, not to repeat accomplishments from your past.

You should address two distinct topics:

• your career aspirations
• and your rationale for earning your MBA at Stanford, in particular.

The best examples of Essay 2 express your passions or focused interests, explain why you have decided to pursue graduate education

Part III: Answer one of the three questions: Tell us not only what you did but also how you did it. What was the outcome? How did people respond? Only describe experiences that have occurred during the last three years. (400 words)

Option A: Tell us about a time in the last three years when you built or developed a team whose performance exceeded expectations.

Option B: Tell us about a time in the last three years when you identified and pursued an opportunity to improve an organization.

Option C: Tell us about a time in the last three years when you went beyond what was defined or established.

Dig & You’ll find…

I wise man once told me that if I weren’t able to handle it, I would not have been put through it.

I was moved Andre Dubus’ “Digging”. He goes through such experiences but never gives up and I respect that he doesn’t go against his Father’s. Not only did I enjoy the theme/moral of the essay, but I also enjoyed the rich context.

My favorite line must have been when Dubus looks up to find his father. “I looked up at him: he was here to take me home, to forgive my failure, and in my great relief I could not know that I would not be able to forgive it. I was going home. But he said: ‘Lets go buy you a hat’.” This was an incredible line from this essay. It portrays how a father can push his son, with or without understanding his pain.

It warmed me when I realized how Dubus put his family’s thoughts and his father’s feelings superior than his own self-esteem. Although he didn’t like his helmet, he still wore it because didn’t want to offend his father.

Dubus’ self-discovery, showing gratitude to his father, learning that hard work pays off and gives one his earned status was an ideal conclusion.

Dubus’ essay reminded me a lot of my dad, how he implicitly makes me do things so I can gain a different experience, how he encourages me. When I feel weak, my father often asks “Do you want to give up?” Those words make me stand up and continue. It is not about the disappointment that I may bring him, but more than craving praise, I like to satisfy myself. In order to be respected, you have to work hard and earn it. I look forward to this every time I feel like I can’t move on. This is the reason I don’t give up.

~Farzana

Cherish your parents..

This weekend, while I was at home, I found myself trying to connect more with my Mom. I took out some unrecognizable old photos of her and her family that I printed a couple of months ago. I was desperate to learn a story/memory from every picture. Deep down I had a strong desire to understand my mother at a young age, her relationship with her family, and her reflection now. My maternal grandmother passed away when she was only forty-seven years old and my mom was only fourteen. My maternal grandfather past away when my mom was twenty years old. I only had the opportunity to meet five out of eight people in my mom’s family. This I regret even though it was not up to me.

I actually didn’t realize what my intentions were until I reflected upon my weekend, as I often do on Sunday nights.

This is how reading James Baldwin’s “Notes of a Native Son” affected me. I don’t want to regret not knowing my parents. I don’t want to recall distant moments with them or search for answers in places that no longer will exist. I want to cherish them and their memories. I want to keep their past alive when they are no longer here.

Accepting Lucy

We look for acceptance and compliments everywhere. Is it because we can’t trust ourselves?

I always thought of society has a good thing until I actually started realizing the people who are part of a society and that I myself was a part of a society. This was during my transition phase—starting to “grow up”. I think I first took note of how negative society was, when I was in the 8^th grade. I was experimenting with my hair. I liked to leave it looking like a curly whooping willow. My mother noticed it one morning and told me tie my hair. “Think of what ________ would say. They would say you look crazy and dirty and your mother hasn’t taught you well.” Oh…so here’s what it comes to: how you look and what others think of you—your reputation! I tied up my hair and walked out the door to satisfy her, but after a while, she stopped complaining and I stopped listening. I didn’t give a damn about who thought what—as long as I knew what I was thinking.

The case is so much different for Grealy, and I spend much time thinking about her. Maybe even too much.

I feel as if I don’t have the right to judge her because I her feelings are unknown to me… It is so easy to judge others because we haven’t walked in their shoes. What rights do we have?

Grealy’s essay was well written but makes me question her ethos as a writer. She makes it seem as if everyone in the world is malicious and she is an innocent victim of everyone’s malice. Yes, it is very sad that a child would have to suffer from cancer and then survive with a disfigured face with most of her life. I sympathized for her, but only to a limit. I feel as if though she discredited her family many people in her essay. Not once did she write about anything she may have done for revenge.

When I found out that she had died from a drug over dose much of my sympathy for her demolished. You suffer and then survive and then suffer only to drug yourself? I feel as if though she wasted so much. Her life would be so much more valued if she suffered till the end—as bad, critical, and mean as it sounds.

But as it is, we all accept Lucy now.

Besides my judgments, I would like to say I admire her work and her life the way she spent it. I hope she is resting in peace.

______

I read an interesting article by Suellen Grealy, Lucy’s sister. It was about how she disliked Ann Patchett for judging her family and taking credit for much of Lucy’s life and work. Although I sympathized, I do believe this sister is jealous that she didn’t know Lucy has much as Patchett knew her.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2004/aug/07/biography.features

In Class Assignment– Changing one form of energy to another.

I found yesterday’s activity really interesting

This is what I produced:

I am five or six years old. I am seated in the trunk of our olive colored family station wagon in Bangladesh, which to us is the back seat. We’re sitting on a carpet that has been set on the trunk. There are no cushions and it’s quite uncomfortable. In the front, my Uncle is driving; my mom is next to him. In the back seat is my aunt, my grandma and my sister. We are the farthest back. We’re on our way to a relative’s house for lunch, which is not far away but seems distant because we’re stuck in traffic, as always. Behind the car, I’m aware of the dusty, crowded streets of Dhaka city. It’s hot and humid, but my cousin and I are imaging we are elsewhere—wishing we could go back to the bids that we left unattended on our balcony.

and I could have written more..